Pre-flight
Hey. Real quick before we start.

This isn't
the questionnaire
you're used to.

No checkboxes. No multiple choice. No "describe your business in 250 characters or less." Just nine questions, one screen at a time, that we actually want answers to. Type honestly. Scroll when you're done. Should take about 18 minutes.

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01 / 09
Let's just start here.

If you didn't
have to be polite —
what's actually wrong?

Not the diplomatic answer. Not the version you'd give an investor. The version you'd type to a friend at 2am.

No pressure. Skip if you'd rather just say it out loud.
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02 / 09
Tell me about your favourite customer.

Picture them.
What's their name?

Yes — actually. The customer who, if you cloned them 50 times, your business would be solved. Their first name is enough. Then tell me why they love you.

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03 / 09
Now the opposite.

Who never says yes —
and why?

The category of buyer you keep pitching to and keep losing. The pattern. The reason they don't buy. Be specific. Be honest. Yes — even if it implicates the product.

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04 / 09
Quick one.

When was the last time
you read your
own homepage?

If it's been more than three months — that's the answer. Tell me what you noticed. Or what you'd notice if you opened it tonight.

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05 / 09
Now here's the one most founders dodge.

If a competitor
copied your strategy
tomorrow —
would you even notice?

If the answer is no, it's because your strategy isn't really a strategy. Something to figure out before you spend on the next campaign.

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06 / 09
A money question. Don't flinch.

What's the last 6 months
of marketing spend
actually bought you?

Not what the dashboard says. What you, the founder, can point at in the world and say "that's because of marketing." If it's nothing, name it as nothing.

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07 / 09
A confidence one.

What do you secretly
think makes your
business great?

The thing you'd put on the homepage if marketing weren't watching. The thing you tell new hires on Day 1. The reason you started this in the first place.

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08 / 09
A 12-month question.

A year from now —
what's undeniably
different?

If we work together and it works, what's true a year from now that isn't true today? Not "more leads" or "better brand" — give me the specific, before-and-after, photographable difference.

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09 / 09
Final one. Promise.

What are you
not telling us
that we should know?

Internal politics. Cofounder disagreement. A failed previous agency. A budget constraint. A board deadline. Whatever you'd be embarrassed to put in a normal questionnaire — put it here.

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Done
Honestly?

Thank you.

That was probably more honest than most of our discovery calls. We'll read every word, sit with it for 48 hours, and come back with either a scoped plan, a few clarifying questions, or an honest "this isn't the right fit." No ghosting, no boilerplate.

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